Moving forward

Thanks to everyone who commented on my last post. I really appreciate the support and unconditional acceptance of this community. I think TeeJay hit the nail on the head: for some reason, I continue to feel this need to justify myself regarding going forward with a stim/retrieval cycle with my sister. I think I feel like somebody is going think I'm 'greedy' for asking my sister to do this when I've got a perfectly good pregnancy going already. Of course no one (besides you guys) is really going to know right now that we're doing this - outside of Mr.Right, me, my sister and my BIL (we're not going to tell our parents at this point, unless it becomes necessary) and, of course, the people at our clinic. And, besides, who cares what this imaginary person thinks!?! They don't necessarily know what we've been through or what the situation is.

Still trying to get a phone consult scheduled with Dr.Dry for next week but have been trading messages/voicemail with him. It was kind of touching that he called and left a voicemail (after I called his office to try and arrange a consult time) and wanted to know how my pregnancy was going.

How is it going? It's going well. Really well. Well, despite a little down moment the other evening. I guess it had just opened up old feelings calling the fertility clinic that day. And then there was this 'tempting fate' kind of feeling I had about this pregnancy and moving forward with my sister as a donor. You know: now that we're moving forward again with my sister the fates will decide to make this pregnancy difficult or even make it end.

But, of course, that's irrational thinking and ridiculous. Nevertheless, it coincided with a time over dinner when I wasn't feeling babygirl move and started worrying that I hadn't felt her move in a while. There were a few tears, but Mr.Right and I talked ourselves out of getting worked up about it. Or so I thought. When Mr.Right joined me in bed he was very quiet. I had actually felt the baby move (I often do once I'm lying down in bed) and I turned to tell him. He told me he'd just been rehearsing in his head the speech he would have to give to his colleagues/employees in the office about losing the baby. Sigh.

Of course, that night, I swear babygirl woke me up in the middle of the night with her kicking. I couldn't fall back asleep so I read for an hour or so. I guess I deserved that! :-)

Anyhow, we're all fine now. Back to our 'boring pregnancy' status. (Please, let it stay that way!) Out for a 3 mile walk (sadly, I quit running a few weeks ago) with the puppy this morning (she's not much of a puppy anymore at 10.5 months old!). I was getting lonely walking this last week since she'd not been able to go with me as she was recovery from her spaying surgery. But she's off the pain meds now and raring to go! The people (mostly women) that I meet walking dogs are now routinely asking me when I'm due. I guess it's a pretty safe bet to ask now that the belly is pretty obvious. And I find I don't mind at all. :-)