Measures of Hope | 15 February 2011

+1. Only two days left until ultrasound. I think I'll make it.

+2. Mr.Right and I seem to be on the same page. We usually are, but in bed last night he described how he's feeling about where we are and I pretty much could have said it myself. We'll be terribly disappointed if we go in tomorrow and there's no heartbeat. And if we make it beyond that, we'll be equally terribly disappointed if the results of the CVS test (which will probably be earliest March 9) mean that we have to terminate this pregnancy. But it just feels like it won't be devastating. Because we have a plan. We are moving forward with my sister as a donor. And if that doesn't work, we're moving on to anonymous donor eggs. At the same time, we both feel this crazy sense of hope. Like, it was such a random fluke that I got pregnant the cycle after a pretty spectacular fail at IVF#4. And, even if I have a 1 in 20 chance of having a genetic abnormality in a fetus, isn't it time we get one of the the other 19 chances? But, we're both trying not to get ahead of ourselves. We have a long way to go yet until the CVS test results. And even then, I think we both agreed we know too much now to think that it will be a done deal even after that. Ok, this started out as a positive statement and has gone a little south. But the fact that we're pretty much in the same place I think is a good thing. Maybe I've gotten a little bit more optimistic and he's gotten a little bit more realistic. We've met in the middle and that doesn't seem like a bad place to be.

+3. Lunch with a good friend today. He quit his job at the end of the year and is taking several months to figure out what's next. It was good to catch up with him and share my newly-free-to-while-away-the-day-without-going-into-the-office' tips with him.

+4. Am going to get paid for the second part of the Qatar consulting project I worked on last year! Yay! And there's some promise of more work upcoming for them.