Well, as expected, I'm not responding to the stimulation drugs. No surprise there, really. It's day 8 of stim drugs. We're at 150 Gonal-f in the morning; 300 Gonal-f + 30 units diluted HCG in the evenings. Estrogen was 50 on Tuesday. Just back from a monitoring appointment so we'll see what estrogen is this afternoon, but basically only 1 follicle at 10mm and 2 more under 10mm.
Interestingly, we had Dr.BabyFace today. Interesting, because had Dr.Dry been there himself, I think ironically enough (given Dr.Dry's usual demeanor), Dr.BabyFace would have come off as more pessimistic than Dr.Dry. Of course, that may be because Dr.Dry has more invested in this. Not that I think Dr.BabyFace doesn't. It's just that he probably usually sees normal women who actually make multiple follicles on this level of stimulation. On the other hand, Dr.Dry knows we're a hopeless cause so I actually think he might have found the lack of a really big dominant follicle a good thing. Anyhow, supposedly Dr.Dry is in today, just not doing morning monitoring so we'll see if he reviews things this afternoon and what the instructions are.
Surprisingly, Mr.Right seemed to be more down than me upon leaving the office this morning. I'm not sure why. I could say that my pessimism about all of this made me less susceptive to disappointment this morning. But, I'm still disappointed. I guess I'm just on a more even keel this morning (unlike yesterday afternoon when the two of us were out the counselor we've been seeing.)
We talked yesterday with the counselor about my going back and forward about donor eggs. It wasn't all that productive of a meeting, but I guess it did let me talk a bit more with Mr.Right about the fact that I'm often of two minds: one side says it's the only logical thing to do - I'm tired of my non-responsive ovaries and this constant disappointment of not making enough follicles to do anything with. The other side says that I *have* gotten pregnant off an IUI (and on our own twice before that) and maybe we should just keep trying that way and that we can't possibly have such bad luck again to get such a chromosomally abnormal egg. Well, just the same old same old.
But, I'm trying to take it just one day at a time. It will be what it will be. There's absolutely nothing I can do about it anymore. It's totally out of my hands.
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See me believing all those cliches? Yeah, me neither........
Mike got a job and other updates
6 years ago
I'm sorry to hear about the response to meds. Hard choices for sure with future plans. I'm thinking about you.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine what you must be going through. Your poor body!!!
ReplyDeleteoh sorry pet about the poor response. I know it's hard but I think you will have to make a decision on DE as i mentioned to you before. My point of view is that you should consider the road that will be more likely to give you a positive outcome sooner. So that you may have a couple of children :o)!
ReplyDeleteOh that sucks that your eggs aren't responding - I'm sorry. It's so hard to make decisions in this process, especially when nothing is clear-cut. It would almost be easier if you've never been able to get pregnant on your own or through IUI's. But now you have hope on two different fronts. Hugs to you and your hubby - sorry this is so tough on him too!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear this. I know you were kind of prepared for this, but I am sure that does not make this any easier for you.
ReplyDeleteBe gentle with yourself about DE, I think it is normal to have some ambivalence about taking a step like this. its all normal and totally ok.
thinking of you and your husband.
I'm sorry that this cycle is so hard and at this point so frustrating. I think that what you are debating about DE makes a ton of sense to think through carefully, and it's good that you and Mr Right have a really open channel of communication on this issue. I'm thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that your body is not responding to the meds!! I think it sounds like a great plan to take it all one day at a time, one step at a time! Thinking of you = )
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry.. This is beyond your control so don't be too hard on yourself. You have our support and I am definitely cheering for you.
ReplyDelete