Stim Day 4

Yes, I have finally, finally gotten to the stim round. I haven't posted in a while and, frankly, haven't been reading blogs too much (until yesterday morning and this morning). I just haven't felt like it. The skimming that I have done tells me there is some wonderfully good news out there and some not so good news. As always, I guess.

When last we left you on October 29......I had triggered with half of our HCG trigger shot to try to oust the damn cyst. My first progesterone check wasn't spectacular. I went for prog check again on Sunday morning, Oct. 31 and then promptly left to fly to Atlanta (first business trip in a year! weird!) My nurse didn't even call with results until Monday (since I'm such a weirdo, the weekend call people have no clue what to do with my results) which were that my progesterone did indicate ovulation (finally!) and I should start Vivelle patch on the following Sunday.

We'd decided to do Vivelle/Ganirelix again at the end of this triggered cycle as a kind of 'why the hell not' measure. Not that the Vivelle/Ganirelix had worked as advertised at the end of the previous cycle. But whatever.

Dr.Dry had also decided to check for the cyst on the day I started Ganirelix (day 2 of Vivelle). So, in we went on Monday, Nov. 8. And, of course, the cyst was there. And, oh delight of all delights, my husband pointed out as the ultrasound tech pulled out the wand that it looked like I'd started my period. Oh yes, AF discovered by my husband and the ultrasound tech. Yay.

So, now we're racing the clock if we want to have any chance of getting out in front of my early-out-of-the-gates dominant follicle. Cyst aspiration was scheduled for two days later - Wednesday (this past week.)

Basically, a cyst aspiration is just the same as a retrieval - it's just that what you get out of it is completely useless. Luckily, the cyst aspiration is coded as a GYN procedure so my insurance should pay for it (we have no insurance coverage for IUI/IVF treatments). Not that money is really an issue, but it just would have galled me to have to pay for retrieval of something useless.

It all went perfectly fine. It's about the 3rd surgical procedure I've had at my clinic's surgery center (one D&C, one egg retrieval, one cyst aspiration). I get the same anesthesiologist every time. He's good. And it was really quick. I think MrRight said he'd barely gotten to sit down in the waiting area after they'd taken me into the room for the procedure before the doctor was out telling him it all went fine.

Another ultrasound/bloodwork the following morning (this past Thursday) and we started stims (225 iu Gonal-f and 30 units dilute HCG) that night. The cyst was deflating.

So, there we are. We are finally into the stim section of this last IVF with my own eggs. There were some hard days this past Monday and Tuesday. I'm not sure why they hit then. The cyst aspiration didn't scare me, but every step we take just seems to get totally screwed up and I'm so, so sick of it. And every step we now take (or don't even get to take) gets us closer to donor eggs. And, while I've been talking a good talk about being ready to move on to donor eggs, it just kills me to have to let go of my own eggs and the idea of a child with my own genes. But, we're going there (if we have to...and we probably will.) I guess this is what they mean when they say you will grieve the loss of your own biological child. I've done a bunch of grieving this past week and I'm quite sure it isn't over.

Meanwhile, the PGD people called for their money ($3500). Of course, if we don't make it that far (doubtful, given that we'll likely end up with very few follicles, even less eggs retrieved, even less fertilized and maybe none to biopsy) we get our money back. But they wanted their money ahead of time, nevertheless. Sigh.

Otherwise (other than infertility, that is), things have been pretty good. Mr.Right was on vacation this past week. We actually did a staycation. And I think he actually enjoyed it. We worked a lot around the house. He was able to be there to take me for the cyst aspiration. And he got to spend a lot of time with Jessie, our growing (25 lbs already!) puppy. And it was absolutely gorgeous, crisp, cool, blue-sky, fall weather all week. This morning we're off to bloodwork/ultrasound monitoring appointment and then we have a reservation for brunch at a restaurant we've been wanting to try out in the countryside. Should be a beautiful drive out there!