Phew!

Ok, believe it or not, I think I am actually ready to be pregnant now. For real!!

We had the appointment this afternoon with the MFM doc with whom my OB conferred when we got that second positive toxo IgM result. We had made the appointment before the Palo Alto lab results were back so that I could get an ultrasound to see if there were any physical deformities caused by toxo infection of the fetus and consult with the MFM who'd seen more toxo cases than our OB. Anyhow, once the Palo Alto lab confirmed negative on the toxo, our OB suggested keeping the appointment anyhow. So, we did.

Long, detailed ultrasound with the tech checking everything out, labeling the legs, hands, feet (from the bottom, cool!), stomach, kidneys and all kinds of cool parts! Heart beating between 141 and 150. I can't remember the crown-rump measurement right now, but MFM told us everything looked good. She also said that was it: we can take the Palo Alto lab result of negative and be very sure I don't (never did have) toxoplasmosis. And, of course, therefore, neither does the baby.

Phew!! Double phew!

I have to admit that I was a little quiet during the ultrasound. It wasn't quite the same ultrasound room as our disastrous NT scan last July, but we did meet with the MFM doc in the very same room where she told us that that baby had a cystic hygroma, very likely was chromosomally abnormal, probably wouldn't live but another week or week and a half and where we decided within 10 minutes to terminate the next day. Despite the happy results as we walked out of the hospital this time, I teared up, just thinking about having stopped in the very same spot the last time as I started to lose it.

But, we're not back there. Maybe physically we were for a moment, but not in circumstance and certainly not emotionally. We are in a much, much better place. With a seemingly viable, 14w1d baby girl growing inside of me.

So, now, I'm going to let myself be pregnant. I think we'll call Mr.Right's mom tonight and my parents to let them know. I *think* we're in agreement that we're going to tell them it's a girl.

Oh, other good news? The MFM doc suggested I come back in 2-3 weeks for a vaginal ultrasound to do a cervix check, just to make sure since I had that D&C at 13w last time, that the cervix is long and in good shape. I know, you're thinking, this is good news? But, honestly, I'm totally good with being overmonitored now. I'm used to it, I guess. We also went ahead and booked the 20 week ultrasound. How's that for actual planning ahead based on hopeful thinking??? Amazing.

In the meantime, we have 2nd OB appointment next Monday. I'm sure it will be a quickie with maybe or maybe not a doppler hearing of the heartbeat.

And just to top our day off? On the way back to Mr.Right's office, our accountant called. He's got our taxes done. We're getting bucket loads of money back! Not that that's necessarily a good thing (I'd rather the government *not* be earning interest on my money when I could be), but we had lots of unknowns last year with my consulting gigs and it essentially means we were able to really work the deductions. Yay! At least we won't be writing a big fat check this year (as we did last year) and we'll be ahead on our first quarter estimated payment.

Do I dare think that things might be starting to go our way? Oh fates, I know you're just waiting for me to declare this. So, I'll just take it one day at a time. Tonight we're going to celebrate being relatively worry-free for the first time in 14 weeks of this pregnancy. Thank goodness for small things.