Yesterday was CD11 on this 'no-getting-pregnant' month leading into next month's IVF/PGD attempt. I was scheduled to go in for bloodwork and ultrasound yesterday morning and did at 7 a.m. (after a 2 poop night with the dog.....more on that later....sigh.) Dr.Dry was actually there for the ultrasound and I had a 15mm and a smaller one on right side (or was it left?) Anyhow, he mentioned I'd probably trigger on Wednesday.
So, minor frustration when my nurse left voicemail in the afternoon at 4:40 p.m. (while I was saying good bye to my sister, BIL, and 2 nephews who'd stopped by on their way home from a long weekend to see the puppy) and said Dr.Dry wanted me to trigger BUT COMPLETELY NEGLECTED TO SAY WHICH DAY!!! So, I called and left her a voicemail back and sent her an email. To her credit, she did call me about 5:30 p.m. and said, well, I was supposed to trigger tonight! (aka yesterday) Luckily I had the Ovidrel already.
But really, do you not think you could leave a voicemail that was a bit more precise in its instructions!?! When I talked to her I mentioned that Dr.Dry had mentioned Wednesday as trigger day and she was apparently unaware of this. But, I'm really, really, really getting sick of the piss-poor communication style of my nurse, Dr.Dry, and the entire place.
So, this ended in a horribly, F-word-laden rant when Mr.Right got home. Bad news. We then totally had a major blow-up when we sat down to dinner and he just started crying uncontrollably. Same old thing: he was upset and angry at me for venting in such a manner. And we had the same old discussion: I just don't know if I can promise not to vent out loud and with curse words when I'm angry and frustrated. I know this makes him upset. He thinks I don't care enough about how upset this makes him to try and stop or curb my venting. But I also just can't imagine living a life suppressing all that venting just to not make him upset. I pointed out to him that despite the conventional wisdom in our household that he is very controlled with his emotions, he has also violently vented (with curse words) in front of me about some things (ok, not nearly as often.)
Am I wrong? Should I really try harder not to swear and rant and rave in such a way in front of Mr.Right? Is it unreasonable to expect Mr.Right to just let me vent sometimes and to expect him to figure out a way not to get so upset himself? I think yes, but then I'm wondering if I'm being selfish? I mean, this is a partnership and I don't want to hurt Mr.Right or see him upset, but I also don't want to disappoint him by saying, 'yes, I'll stop swearing and ranting loudly when I'm upset' and then not succeed in doing so. And he's not asking me to stop totally (although I'm sure he'd like that). He proposed a 'compromise' that I be more 'controlled' in expressing my frustration. Well, but that's just the nature of frustration isn't it? That you're not in control! argh....
So, anyhow, back to the cycle. Bloodwork on Thursday to check progesterone level. Start Vivelle patch 8 days after ovulation. (Which Nurse Imprecise mentioned should be 8 days from Thursday, but according to Dr.Dry when we asked him this specific question yesterday, he said ovulation was 36 hours after trigger so the day-count would start from then (i.e. Wednesday morning) Yet another unclear piece of information to get clarified....sigh....although I doubt it really makes that much of a difference. In fact, until we reminded him of my short luteal phase, he had the protocol starting me on Vivelle 10 days after ovulation.
Puppy update: not doing so well on the housetraining. She's pooping in her crate at night. Even when we're setting alarm to get up pre-emptively with her (well, I'm getting up with her) every 3 hours. Two crate poop incidents Sunday night. Only one crate poop incident last night. Oh well, this can't go on forever, right?
Mike got a job and other updates
6 years ago
That's kind of a hard one. I totally hear you on the venting,loudly with cursing. I usually think as long as the cussing is not directed at the partner it's ok. But if it is that upsetting to him maybe reconsider. Could you use psuedo cuss words? Would that be better for him, or is it the all around loudness? So sorry. That sucks.
ReplyDeleteI'm so frustrated with my RE too. The communication with them has been terrible. Miss information. Me having to tell the Nurse what I should be taking. I hate just being another number.
ReplyDeleteThe compromise doesn't sound too bad. Maybe if you are thinking about it, it will help you not get as angry. I'd say give it a try and see how it works out.
I am sorry that you are going through all of this stress. I wish I had some more advice for you. Can you talk to your dr about the lack of communication at their office & how confusing it is? Have you explained to your husband that you are not ranting at him -- that you just need a listening ear from time to time. My DH is an engineer and always wants to "fix" things and I had to let him know that sometimes I am not looking for a fix, but I just want someone to talk to.... I am not sure if they are similar but I thought I would mention it!
ReplyDeleteI am trying to remember what we did with crate training as it was over 8 years ago but I am thinking it gets to the point where they do not want to be in the crate with the poop so they stop!
One thing we used when he was not in the crate was bells at the door. We trained our dog to ring the bells with his snout when he had to go outside. It worked really well for us.
I am thinking of you and hope that the rest of your day / tomorrow are less stressful!!!
It is so hard to communicate about these issues. I know my husband and I try really hard to respect that we both have our own ways of dealing with things (easier said than done). It sounds like your compromise makes sense though and I hope you both are more comfortable with that.
ReplyDeleteI hate when messages get crossed at the RE office. After what we are paying these people, you would think it would not be too much to expect better communication and clear directions!!! Ugh. I hope things get better for you all around.
One area I can help! Puppy training! LOL! I have raised / house trained 9 puppies in my house. One main thing is scheduled feedings. Once in the am right when they wake up and once after you eat your dinner. That way you can usually bank on a poop within the hour after breaky and right before dinner. If that doesn't get them on a schedule with their tummy, the only other thing we have found that works is walking the poop out of em. Right before bed walk for a half hour until they have a #2.
ReplyDeleteOur schedule was.
Wake up = outside
Eat = outside
Play = outside
After 5 days they were asking to go out whenever they had to tinkle. Okay your probably know all this. Sorry! LOL! Can you tell I love puppies!
Yay for a trigger! Getting the show on the road - that's always nice. I'm sorry the doc's office doesn't communicate well - that really sucks. Unfortunately I think this happens a lot... Which is terrible. But at least you know what's going on, right?
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say on the communication styles with Mr. Right. It's tough - everybody's different... If it upsets him that much, I would try to change your style, or at least try to tone it down a bit, but it's hard, I know. All I know is that we all have problems - all have difficulties with our spouses, and I think what you're going through is normal.
Hugs to you!!!