One

One mature egg (out of 4 retrieved.) At 4 cells yesterday. Hopefully it will have some more cells today. No PGD. We'll just have to stick it out until CVS test at 9 weeks (if it even implants) and abort again then if it's a bad one. It was a hard call to take on Monday afternoon. Our hopes had been raised by the retrieval of 4 eggs. We knew at least one probably wasn't mature. But, only one mature? After all this 'special protocol' and months of trying to get rid of cyst and everything? It just sucks.

Other hand, how much more of a sign could you get: move on from my super-crappy eggs and ridiculously lazy ovaries to donor eggs.

Oh yeah, and as if the news about only have one mature egg wasn't enough, the ridiculous nurse who called me on Monday actually said, 'it only takes one.' I mean, really? You deal with infertile people all day long, 5 days a week and you pull out the oldest and stupidest cliche in the book?

No, it doesn't only take one. In my case, since I have super-crappy eggs where probably 90% of them are genetically abnormal it doesn't only take one. It takes many in order to find a good one. And now we can't (find a good one) because we're not going to biopsy one stupid embryo (for $3500).

Dr.Dry at least was appropriately disappointed. Who tells these nurses to be all cheery and shit?

Ok, I'm not going to be this angry and pessimistic. It will be what it will be. And we'll move on.

My mother has been here since Monday. It's been good. We shopped for furniture for out library/office yesterday. We picked my MIL up at the airport yesterday evening so there both here now. My mom, though, is going to stay today for the super-pointless 'bed rest.'

And one of my good friends (and former employee/colleague) was in town Monday for work meetings and stayed at our house Monday night. I was taking calls from the stupid nurse and Dr.Dry and talking to Mr.Right on Monday evening so I couldn't keep it together and had to tell them what was going on. It was actually good. Did it. Got past it. Drank lots of wine while my Mom, my friend and I were cooking dinner.

Of course, seeing my friend also made me have a little perspective (at least for a fleeting moment). She is my age. She got married relatively young. Had a baby. He was physically and mentally disabled in almost every way you could imagine from birth. They had a full-time nurse at home for him most of the time. When I met her, her son was ~ 3 or 4 years old and she and her husband were separated and so she had him for 2 weeks at a time. They got back together, but her son died at age 6 - about 5 or 6 years ago. The marriage failed about a year or so after his death. Happily, she is now remarried (1 year already!) to a really great guy.

But, I'm not sure I could have endured what she endured. What a tragedy. And here I am being angry and complaining about one mature egg and nurses who say stupid things?

Transfer today at 12:30 p.m. I told Mr.Right he didn't need to come: been there, done that. I'll bring the picture of the embryo home. But, of course, he's coming. My mom is going to drive me there and back so he can go straight back to the office.

I guess there's still a chance this embryo will have bit the dust by noon, but it looks like, if not, we'll be doing the 2 week wait. It never ends.